Disappointment in various degrees follows a rejection of some sort: not getting that important grade you had hoped, and worked, for; not making the team; a romantic break-up; not getting accepted in the school or university which was your first choice and not getting that coveted internship or, later, that interesting job.
Rejection sucks, but some disappointments are easier to put into perspective than others as some may offer a ‘learning experience’, whilst others cut a bit deeper into feelings of unworthiness, of not being ‘enough’ – whether you think that is not clever enough, not interesting enough, not fit enough and whatever ‘not enough’ can be added to the list.
The rejection of not making it into a team or THE team, be it debating, cheerleading or sports, can be devastating in the moment and trigger negative feelings. But teams are fluid and there may be other opportunities to join, assuming the selection process was fair. If you still want that same thing in the future, you can learn and improve and hopefully be more successful in the next round. The same applies to bad, or lower than expected grades and not getting that job or internship. All this can be hugely disappointing, but if you understand why you messed it up (that grade) and why you did not get the job this time, there will certainly be other chances to do better in the future.
Disappointing outcomes, however, in things that seem out of your control are so much more difficult to digest. Being denied admission into your school or university of choice is shattering. It makes you feel your world is falling apart. Universities are not very helpful in the debriefing process after rejecting you as their feedback is often limited or non-existent. This is a very harsh reality to swallow. You may never know what it was that prohibited you from crossing the line and it feels, at least at the point of rejection, that getting some form of ‘closure’ is out of reach and that you can’t move on.