But this is nonsense of course. No one is always either confident or happy, or content - and neither is anyone always lacking confidence, or always being discontent, or unhappy. These ‘states of being’ are not our characteristics; they are like moods. And as moods, they can come and go.
Let’s examine confidence. Is confidence a bulletproof ‘state’ or can confident people also be unconfident in certain situations and vice versa; can those who lack confidence be confident when doing things they love or are good at?
Very few people are confident in all situations. Often, when people are out of their comfort zones, which may be their family, their group of friends, the sport or subject they are good at, their confidence may be more fragile. Try asking anyone a random – slightly difficult – question (about for example a scientific or historical fact), making clear you yourself know the answer. Not knowing the answer will make most people - temporarily at least - unconfident. This is putting people ‘on the spot’ and it is often used as a technique to detach someone from their comfort/confidence zone.
And happiness and joy. Are these things people always feel? Very likely not. Striving to always feel good and confident and shutting out feelings of doubt, anger, disappointment or unhappiness is definitely not a good idea.
When feeling down and out or upside down, it is important to realise a few things. First of all, accept the emotions you have and ‘allow’ yourself to have them. How you respond to these feeling is your choice and in your power. Secondly, accept that you are not always going to feel this way. That being angry or feeling disappointed or left out are things that pass. Believe there will be ‘another day’; a day you will smile and feel great and not have these negative feelings. We have to trust ourselves with both the good, the bad and the ugly. They are all mostly transitory and come and go.